IMing Dwight
by Unidentified Pineapples
Summary: After an interesting IM conversation between Jim and Dwight, Jim and Pam decide to pull a prank on our favorite Beet Farmer. This fic takes place via IM - not chatroom . My first Office-fic.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Office. If I did, Dwight and Angela would be together forever!**

**Author's Note: This is totally my first Office-fic, so please go easy on me. This is not meant to be taken too seriously and I don't intend it to be canon. Just simple fun. Please let me know what you think and if it's worth continuing. Thanks so much! Enjoy!**

* * *

**(Dwight and Jim IM conversation)**

**JimHalpert:** Hey, Dwight. What're you up to?

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Why should I tell you?

**JimHalpert:** Because.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** How is that an answer?

**JimHalpert:** Because it answers your question.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Whatever. Look, just leave me alone, okay? I'm busy.

**JimHalpert:** You don't look busy.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Well I am.

**JimHalpert:** It must be hard work being Assistant to the Regional Manager.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Assistant Regional Manager. Jim, seriously, I'm going to tell Michael that you're keeping me from working.

**JimHalpert:** I like your user name.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Thanks. Girl.

**JimHalpert:** Well, that's not fair. You already used that insult before. It's just null and void now.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** I refuse to answer you anymore.

**JimHalpert:** Well that doesn't make any sense. How can you answer if I didn't ask you a question?

**RynStrtdTheFire:** I refuse to respond to you anymore.

**JimHalpert:** Again, you're wrong. See that time I DID ask a question and yet you responded. You know, I think Michael should revoke your Assistant to the Regional Manager privileges. What good are you to the company if you can't even tell the difference between a response and an answer?

* * *

**(Dwight and Michael conversation)**

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Michael! Fire Jim!

**ThtsWhtSheSd:** God, Dwight. You were doing so good. You almost made it through the week without telling me to fire Jim.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** He deserves to be fired. He's bothering me… again.

**ThtsWhtSheSd:** You know, instead of telling me and complaining to me, and whining to me about Jim all the time…. Talk to Toby.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** I don't like him. He doesn't know didly squat when it comes to something like this.

**ThtsWhtSheSd:** That's what she said.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Good-bye.

* * *

**(Dwight and Toby conversation)**

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Michael says I should talk to you because Jim is bothering me. That is the ONLY reason I am talking to you. Not because I WISH to talk to you, but because Michael told me to.

**Toby:** That's nice.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** What should I do?

**Toby:** You can file another complaint, and I'll send it to that Corporate Office in New York that I was telling you about.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** No. They've obviously got a lot to handle over there, or else they would've gotten back to me on all of those other complaints.

**Toby:** Then you can either take it up again with Michael, which I highly doubt will work. Or you can try some things to help you relax. Maybe write down all of your thoughts about Jim in a journal or log of some type. Or talk it out with Jim.

* * *

**(Jim IMs Dwight suddenly)**

**JimHalpert:** Either you've got one hell of a reply to my statement or your talking to someone else.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** No, I've already got a log of Jim's tormenting habits. I keep it in my bottom drawer. I use it probably eight times a week.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Jim?

**JimHalpert:** Yes, Dwight?

**RynStrtdTheFire:** I'm having memory loss. What is the last thing I said to you?

**JimHalpert:** Memory loss? That's not good. You should talk to someone about that.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Just answer the question.

**JimHalpert:** I believe you said "I refuse to respond to you anymore"

**JimHalpert:** :)

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Okay.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** So, Jim, how's life treating you?

**JimHalpert:** My day just got a little better actually.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** That's good to hear. May I ask why?

**JimHalpert:** Well, I just heard a rumor that someone was smuggling booze into the warehouse, and I was planning on getting some during lunch.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** What?!

**RynStrtdTheFire is away.**

**JimHalpert:** It's true.

**Auto Response from RynStrtdTheFire:** Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe, RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!!!!!

**RynStrtdTheFire is back.**

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Rumor has been proven false. There is no trace of alcohol of any kind in the warehouse. Crisis averted.

**JimHalpert:** Damn. Can't believe everything you hear, I guess.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** And you think I have a lot to learn.

**JimHalpert:** Nothing gets past you, Dwight.

* * *

**(Jim and Pam IM conversation)**

**JimHalpert:** The greatest thing just happened!!

**ThisIsPam:** Oh yeah? What?

**JimHalpert:** I think Dwight was instant messaging Toby, and he accidentally sent something to me that was actually meant for Toby.

**ThisIsPam:** What did he say?

**JimHalpert:** He said that he keeps a log in his desk of all the annoying things I do to him.

**JimHalpert:** So, of course I created a diversion, went into his desk and stole it.

**ThisIsPam:** Oh, my God, that's great!

**ThisIsPam:** What are you going to do with it???

**JimHalpert:** I'm not sure yet. I was hoping you could help me with that.

**ThisIsPam:** Hmm….

**ThisIsPam:** Oh! I got it!!!

**JimHalpert:** Hit me with it, Beesley. (That's what she said)

**ThisIsPam:** You could go out to the store and get a book that looks just like the one that Dwight has, only inside of the new one you could change all of the stories around so that it looks like it was Dwight that did all of those horrible things to you!

**JimHalpert:** Genius!!

**JimHalpert:** Could you make copies of all of these pages so that I can put his book back before he goes looking for it?

**ThisIsPam:** I'm on it! (That's what she said.) (Wow, we hang around Michael too much!!)

**JimHalpert:** This will be great. And yeah we do.

* * *

**(Dwight and Pam IM conversation)**

**ThisIsPam:** Dwight, Michael just called. He wants to see you in his office.

**RynStrtdTheFire:** Awesome!

**RynStrtdTheFire is away.**

**ThisIsPam:** Okay, then.

**Auto Response From RynStrtdTheFire:** I'm coming, Michael!!!

* * *

**(Jim and Pam IM conversation)**

**JimHalpert:** Okay, the copies have been made and the book is back in place.

**ThisIsPam:** What do you think Dwight is going to say when he finds out that Michael didn't really call him into his office?

**JimHalpert:** I bet he comes out and blames me right away.

**ThisIsPam:** Here he comes!

**JimHalpert:** Did you see that look he gave me?!

**ThisIsPam:** What's he doing? I can't see from here.

**JimHalpert:** He's going for the book.

**JimHalpert:** He's writing a lot!!

**ThisIsPam:** You've got your work cut out for you, Halpert.

**JimHalpert:** I know. Thank goodness I've got a brilliant assistant to help me. J

**ThisIsPam:** Assistant? I gave you the idea of what to do with the book. I would have to say that I am the brains of this operation.

**JimHalpert:** Well, I'm the one who came up with the diversion and stole the book, so… If anything, you should be Assistant to the Brains-of-the-Operation.

**ThisIsPam:** Hmm…. Sounds good. Only, I would like my official title to be Assistant Brains-of-the-Operation.

**JimHalpert:** Done, deal.

**ThisIsPam:** This day is definitely going to be interesting!! :)

**ThisIsPam:** You wanna go out at lunch and get the book?

**JimHalpert:** That's the plan. Only, I need you to stay here and hold down the fort. Distract Dwight from my absence.

**ThisIsPam:** This I can do. (That's what she said)

**JimHalpert:** Okay, we better get back to work. I think Ryan suspects a plan. And if we're not careful, Ryan could tell Kelly, Toby would overhear it from Kelly, Toby would inform Michael, and Dwight would force the information out of Michael, which would just ruin everything.

**ThisIsPam:** True. But you could've just said, "We better get back to work." Now, I bet Ryan is even more suspicious.

**JimHalpert:** Okay. I'll talk to you later Beesley. :)

**ThisIsPam:** Don't screw this up, Halpert. (That's what she said) :)

* * *

**So, what did you think? Review please! If you have any questions about the plot, I'll be happy to answer them. Reviews are very helpful and extremely appreciated.**

**By the way, I wrote this a few years ago just for the fun of writing it. I never actually intended to put it up on FanFiction, but here it is. I thought it was fun. Please leave a review! Thanks so much! Bye-bye!**


End file.
